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The Assies, 5/1/00 |
Night at the Assies
"Q", 5/1/00
The first annual Quincy Shogun Assassin Awards Ceremony featured the film "Flying Elbow of Death: the Director's Cut" as well as excerpts from game reports. The Rankings page now lists award nominees and recipients. Categories included First Kill, Most Stylish Kill, Best Assassin, Coolest Clan, Best Individual Submission to the Shogunate, Most Consistently Entertaining Submissions to the Shogunate, and Final Clan. The Alex Athanassiou Endowment award was given to six players.
The Shogunate would like to thank all of the Quincy assassins for their dedication, spirit, and sense of humor over the course of the game. Stay posted for the date of the Quincy Shogun Assassin party in Quincy 605.
Sunday, 1:00. The sun rose high, and the crowd grew restless. Shankar of the Four Horsemen stood alone against the mighty Penetrators, Tae, Davesh, and Joaquin. Ninja Sandra Guzman was nowhere to be seen. Could Shankar, outnumbered 3 to 1, pull out with a wild underdog win?
Both teams knew that an errant flap of loose cloth could mean death. The Penetrators stripped down to the form they fight best in: nakedness, with only a thin layer of spandex between flesh and air. Shankar wore form-fitting black and pulled his white socks up.
The Shogunate counted down from 10 to 1... and the hunt began. Shankar ran into the Old Quincy courtyard, followed by the Penetrators, followed by the riotous masses. Joaquin and Davesh chased Shankar into the corner near E-entry and fired shot after shot -- but Shankar's body, wriggling and leaping like a fish fighting upstream, refused to allow contact with a single dart.
Now Tae, Killer of Ten, descended upon the prey. He fired... but missed! Shankar's gun begged vengeance. As he leaped past the Penetrators and ran for the center of the courtyard, he buried a clean shot into Tae's shoulder, ending the master assassin's life.
But Shankar's time was nearing. Davesha and Joaquin cornered him again, near A-entry. With limited munitions and no time to reload, Shankar made a valiant effort to dodge the onslaught. He at last tossed his useless weapons down and leaped to his fate, onward into the pelting bullets, and plummeted to the ground, finished. The Four Horsemen had fallen at last. The Penetrators were the Final Clan.
The
Execution, with a Fateful Twist
"Q", 4/25/00
View the photo essay and read the transcript of the trial.
Ninja
strikes down Athanassiou
Turgut draws his first blood as a Ninja.
Choka
of the Tokugawa Ronin
Jérôme Martin eulogizies a dying clan.
DeSPAWNdent
Joaquin "Liquid Death" Vega cuts his teeth on the last
remaining Spawn. Preach it, brother.
Sex Pistols
The repeal of the spirit form rule does not stop Tae "Look at my
Schl" Hong from finding hot action in New Quincy.
Bolt from
the Blue
Alex narrowly escapes death at the hands of the Poet-Boy.
Stone
Cold Duel
by "Q", 4/21/00
A photo essay.
Zalatan
Falls to Tae's Bullet
Zalatan's one-man Trouble Shooting mission ended this morning, as the
Penetrators, like wolves, hunted him down in the courtyard.
A Close Shave
Joan Hubble brings the nudist season to a close with an audacious
escape from the dining hall: "I tried to warn the Four Horseman that
they wouldn't like what they saw, but they refused to budge."
Fruitless
Jabs
Susan Chen's gun misfires, and in a desperate bid for a kill she prods
her prey with the unfired dart. ("She's dead, right? She's dead,
right?") The act is not worthy of a war, but serves to much amuse
the Shogunate.
Nerf Barrage
... of DEATH!
Jesse Zalatan and Josh Goldston face off in a lone encounter in
the halls of New Quincy: "We eyed each other. I called for backup.
They failed to materialize. I advanced. Josh advanced...." They shower
bullets at each other, and amazingly, one of them survives.
Return of
the Towel
Alex Athanassiou and Jesse Zalatan execute a second devious ruse.
No More
Matriza
Davesh tells of his glory. Andrea tells the other
side.
Ancestral Spirits
Mexican Magic, 4/20/00
Late in the game, each kill becomes more glorious, and each death more tragic. The continued success of a Clan may depend as much upon its deceased members as upon its survivors. Ghosts can serve several key functions.
Scouting: Ghosts can fearlessly scout out stairwells, peek around corners, and investigate custodial closets.
Communication: Ghosts can occupy advantageous positions (e.g. the middle of the courtyard) without fear and visually relay information to positioned Clansmen.
Decoy: In the heat of battle, Nerf-wielding ghosts can be mistaken for live Assassins, drawing the enemy's attention and fire. (Note: Ghosts should never actually fire a weapon. Nor can they block. Doing either will result in severe penalty.)
In short, just because you're dead doesn't mean you can't be hard-core.
Ode to Alex
Jerome "Poet-Boy" Martin pays tribute to Alex Athanassiou and
his bare ass.
The Naked
Gun
In an unprecedented display, Alex Athanassiou sacrifices all modesty for
survival.
Double Penetration
Tae takes out Matriza with help from Davesh. Also read the victims'
account of the battle.
NINJA!
Letter to the Shogunate by Turgut Cankorel
Esteemed Shogunate,
Given that my brethren Samurai have all fulfilled the Bushido ethos and
passed on to the greener pastures of heaven, I hereby declare my decision
to break free from any established commitment and to become a Ninja.
I am aware of the implications of this move, as all the remaining Samurai will without doubt spend their days and nights trying to track me down and shoot me from now on. However, Esteemed Shogunate, please convey to these Samurai that I am impossible to catch (as has been proven in several cases) and that I do not forgive.
The Death
of Rambo
Sarah Spiegel and Elizabeth Allen faced off this morning in a mutually
fatal incident. Beth "Ghost Writer" Marino tells the tale.
The Art of the Ruse
Mexican Magic, 4/19/00
The Hunting of Hunters Ruse
The clever samurai knows that the most effective stakeout often is not
of your target, but rather of theirs.
The Rival Tigers Ruse
The astute samurai knows that no bait is more effective than your target's
sworn enemy.
The Rabbit Hole Ruse
The daring samurai knows that if your enemy thinks they outnumber you,
you can lead them to where you outnumber them.
The Wolf in Sheep's Clothing Ruse
The cunning samurai knows that the easiest kill occurs before your prey
knows you are a predator.
Deadly
Respawnse
The Ghost of Beth Marino takes us through the bloody massacre in Old Quincy
Basement.
Also, read the testimonial of two of the departed.
Ping Ponged
Huma Yusuf ambushes two Penetrators and lives to tell her story.
Bianco Buried
The devious plan of Jesse Zalatan and Alex Athanassiou is justly
rewarded.
Spawntaneous
Combustion
Toni Calbert gets mad, and tries to get even. Sadly, her challenge was
declined.
Penetrators
Penatrated
Humayun Khalid tells the story.
Choka of
the Undrawn Sword
Poetry of the pure hunter
You Cannot
Hide from Death
A clever disguise was not enough to save Jakub Wrzesniewski.
IrreSPAWNsible
Sherina recounts her last minutes on earth.
More Blood
Beth Marino and Carol Garvan meet their maker, and tell the story of their
shame (hardcore as they are).
Tuesday Morning Massacre
Tuesday - 00:23 - The Shogunate was infinitely pleased to witness
massive carnage from its vantage point high above the Quincy Courtyard.
Read accounts of the carnage from the side of the victors
and victims.
Vigilence - A Stakeout Tutorial
Das Boot, 4/16/00
Those who have been staking out the gates of Quincy House are to be commended
for their blood-thirst. However, night-time vigils do not make for the
most efficient hunting. To fully penetrate the psyche of your opponents,
make use of any gaps in your morning and early afternoon schedules. By
Staking Out the gates right before each hour, you will make full use of
the innate and overpowering lecture-seeking instinct of your Harvard colleagues.
When forced to choose between academic and Assassin glory, they will make
a commendable but deadly choice to run to class. Having finished your
gory task, you may calmly walk to your own class, chortling at your deviousness.
Confessions
of a Mediocre Assassin
Erin Larkspur recounts the sad story of her death.
DEAD AGAIN.
The morbid bloodlust of the Shogunate was satisfied at 9:55 this
morning when it witnessed the gory death of Brian Smith. Three shots were
fired, one hit the mark.
DEAD ALREADY!
Petar Maymounkov saw the end of a nerf dart at 7:45 this morning.
We revel in this first blood.
WAR!!!
Only 31 minutes into the game, The Four Horsemen declared war
on the Dancing Itos. War begins at midnight.
Commence!
Midnight
has passed. You are no longer safe. But neither are your prey...
Intro Meeting
We
will hold the introductory meeting this Sunday night, April 16th, in the
Quincy JCR at 10:30. You must bring $3 cash each, or you will not play.
The game begins at midnight on Sunday and will last approximately one
week.
Weapon Wisdom
Mexican Magic, 4/15/00
"You must make fullest use of your weaponry. It is false not to do so, and to die with a weapon yet undrawn." -Miyamoto Musashi, The Book of Five Rings
For the serious Assassin, the choice of a weapon is no simple matter. For all intents and purposes, the Assassin and their gun are one and the same; one is useless without the other. Care must be taken to find a weapon that is of the highest possible quality, and one that matches the strategic inclinations of its wielder. Below is some insight into the four primary classes of weapons employed in Assassin. Weapons are available at FAO Schwartz and Toys R Us. Specific information on individual weapons can be found at http://www.NerfCenter.com/
The Assault Weapon
Some players prefer to fully embrace the combative nature of Assassin.
They tend to walk around in trench coats or leather jackets, their eyes
concealed by dark glasses, their intimidating presence daring opposing
players to come within shooting range. But succeeding at this approach
is not just about image; the image must be matched with the right kind
of firepower. What is needed is something with a rapid rate of fire: either
it is extremely easy to reload, or has a built in chain or rotation mechanism
to ensure that another dart is always ready to be fired. A nice, big,
intimidating casing is also a nice touch.
The Sniper Weapon
For the Assassin who prefers to operate from a distance, using stealth
and precision to produce their kills, a high rate of fire and imposing
persona are less important than a weapon with maximum range and accuracy.
This year brings with it the introduction of the Tornado, a weapon that
employs rubber rings, rather than foam darts, to provide the ultimate
in Nerf sniper technology. This gun raises the possibility of courtyard
kills being made from second floor windows and other feats of marksmanship.
The Small Arm
Every year one or two players stay alive for a week or longer by simply
acting as if they are not even playing. They walk through the house as
usual, eat meals as usual, and rely on their open indifference to keep
other teams from targeting them. For killing, they tend to carry weapons
that can be carried easily in a jacket or backpack pocket, providing maximum
surprise potential.
The Sidearm
Rather than choosing to align themselves too closely with one mode of
operation, some players prefer a gun adequate in all situations, while
truly excelling in none. They prefer to rely on their strategic skill
rather than an advantage in firepower for success. While often less spectacular
than other breeds, these players can often produce impressive results.
The weapon of such a player is usually larger than a small arm, increasing
range and allowing for an increased ammunition capacity.
Get Your
Bushido On
Mexican Magic, 4/12/00
The tradition of Quincy Assassin dates back to 1791, more than a century before the founding of Quincy House itself. The Bill of Rights states that "A well regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed." The United States Supreme Court has since interpreted this amendment as granting the students of Quincy House a Constitutional right to carry Nerf weapons in an annual ritual that consistently manages to bring House residents closer together by encouraging them to hunt each other with ruthless precision.
This year the Game manifests itself as Quincy Shogun Assassin. To learn more about Shogun Assassin and to sign up, stop by our table in the lobby during dinner this week.
So get your bushido on. Learn the way of the ninja. And kick some butt.
Photos
